


Call Your Name

by bluevelvett



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternative Universe - Shingeki no Kyojin, Drama, M/M, Yaoi, xiuhun
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-28
Updated: 2019-01-28
Packaged: 2019-10-18 08:38:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,285
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17577518
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bluevelvett/pseuds/bluevelvett
Summary: In which Sehun finds his purpose in life after winning and losing Minseok.





	Call Your Name

**Author's Note:**

> Hi guys <3  
> I posted this story a while ago in my brazilian account, but I loved writing it, so I translated it.  
> It's based on the Attack on Titan Universe, which I particularly love. It's very good, I highly recommend it. It's a little complicated Universe, so I'll explain some things here in the foreword. If someone already has a notion of how this Universe works and understand at least a little of what is happening in the manga/anime, you can skip. If not, I suggest you read it because otherwise no one will understand anything kkkkkkk  
> I'll leave a playlist with the songs I listened to write this story for anyone who wants to listen.  
> Part of the history of this fanfiction is Paradis Island, which is surrounded by three Walls, the outermost Mary, the middle Rose and the innermost Sina, where the King and High Bourgeoisie live. In the outer "ends" of each of these Walls there are Districts, four of them in each one (I'll leave a link in the end with a photo of the places that will appear in fanfiction to be easier to understand, because it also has a link to the formation of the Scout Regiment).  
> There are also three organizations of positions, being the Military Police, the Military Garrison and the Survey Corps, and to enter one of them, the volunteers must enlist the cadet service, which serves to test the abilities against the Titans and the blades and ODM, the gas-powered device that allows humans to reach the nape of the Titans. This is the main point to reach the Titans because it is the weak point (I will not say the reason why because if someone has not yet seen and wants to watch, this is going to be a Spoiler), in which they do not regenerate and die.  
> The Military Police is reserved for the top ten cadets only, who can choose whether or not they want to enter. Primarily, it was for them to maintain order in the Capital (at the Wall Sina), but most only enter the organization to live quietly and as far as possible from the Titans. Many of the MPs have never even seen a Titan because they live in the most isolated part.  
> The Military Garrison is the organization with more members, because, below the top ten, there is only the Garrison and the Survey Corps, and many opt for the most "peaceful" option. They must maintain order in the Districts and be prepared for a possible invasion of the Titans by the Walls, but it is an organization that is also accommodated because they thought it would never happen.  
> The Survey Corps is the organization that goes out on missions outside the Walls to find out where the Titans came from, why they do what they do and their nature. It's basically a research organization, but since the object of study is extremely hostile and unpredictable (and so is giant too), they must have exceptional ODM skills to prevent them from dying.  
> I hope you've figured it out. I just did not explain in the chapter itself because otherwise it would be monotone, and I know there are people who have read or watched, so it would be kind of boring to read it all over again.  
> I hope you like it, thank you

At first, Sehun had no purpose. He had always been influenced by his parents to get a job in the Military Police and faithfully believed that this was what he should do. Well, until he figured out why the people with the highest ranks were as far as possible from the Walls, until he met some of the policemen, see their precarious motives and futile goals, and he completely changed his mind about these desirable elite. He knew then that the position of Military Police Officer had nothing to do with the skill, but with the mere social status that the position offered. After all, who would not want to live surrounded by the most segregated Wall, where everything seems perfect in everyone's eyes?

He then thought about joining the Military Garrison, but he knew that even if he had exceptional training himself, it would not do any good, because the strategies were flawed and weak, which explained why many faction members died or ran away without at least fighting during the fall of Shiganshina and, later, of the Maria Wall. But even if these defects existed, he believed that most of the members were trustworthy and loyal, because they were designated to take care of each District in case of a Titan invasion. He admired the Garrison and admired even more Jongin for having chosen to be a part of it. He was the only friend Sehun had ever made as a cadet, and he confided every bit of his doubts to Jongin, because Sehun trusted him.

Sehun also thought about going into the Survey Corps, but he knew he would not have enough stomach to get out of the Walls, much less to see those creatures feed of each of his teammates. He was well aware that not everyone died during the missions, but he knew the numbers were large, especially among the new members. Even if he understood the reason and importance of this faction to exist, he could not deny that he was afraid.

He's had a war in his mind for days. He spent nights awake and thinking, which sometimes bothered Jongin because of the noise his bed made in his room. The elder told him to follow his heart, but Sehun did not even know what his heart was saying. With his classification in eighth place, he could simply choose the Military Police and live on perks and easy living in the capital. However, he would not forgive himself if he did it. He could choose the Garrison and help each person in the Districts, but at risk because of the lack of preparation of the majority of the members. Or he could choose the Survey Corps Troop, going on insane missions in search of information about the Titans.

In the end, he chose to enter the latter. He knew that he would have to deal with his parents saying that he had allied himself with the "Troop of suicidals", but it was something he could live with. He could try to make a difference. He knew how much that was necessary. And his goal was to do what was necessary, even if it cost him his life.

During the cadets Reception Ceremony in the middle of the Wall Rose, he had seen members of the three factions there. With his heart almost freezing in fear, he watched each of them closely. He was only shaken out of fear when he talked with Jongin about how much the Military Police, just arriving at the place, could leave the climate heavy and with the aura of arrogance hovering above all of the members. However, Sehun got lost in the conversation when he saw one of the members of the Scouts.

It was not his appearance that had caught his attention, though he was handsome, but the way he behaved. Even though he was a little smaller than the others who walked beside him, he had presence. His features were a little delicate, but he kept a serious expression while he walked. Sehun could even say that he was not just another member and that he had at least a little bit of importance in the faction.

“Jongin, do you know who he is?” He pointed at the man.

“Why should I know? You who will enter this organization, you’re the one who should know it.”

“You know a lot more than I do about those people, Jongin...” Sehun lowered his head slightly.

“I think his name is Minseok. I do not know much about him. I don’t think anyone knows.” The brunette, after a while, replied. “But he always looks like he just beaten someone to death.”

Sehun laughed. It was not the way he would define the expression on the other's face, but it could also be true. But his laughter ceased when he saw Minseok’s sharp eyes staring at him, serious, as if he had heard them talking. Then Sehun just bowed his head, as if he had committed a crime. When he looked up again, he saw that many were returning to the cadets' dormitory. The next morning, they would go to the nearest quarter in each district. Jongin would move to Trost, and Sehun would leave for the base of the Survey Corps, isolated from anywhere nearby. And so it was done.

When the first rays of light appeared, the cadets were on their way. In one of the transport carts, Sehun had seen Minseok, serious as before, sitting next to a woman, equally serious. And then, she said.

“You're well aware of why you're here, right?” Everyone nodded. “My name is Joohyun. And this is Minseok. And we're both squadron leaders. But since you are few, you will all be in my squad.”

And so she and Minseok greeted them with their right fists over the Scout symbol on their jackets above their hearts. Because everyone there knew they should devote their hearts, no matter what it costed.

Sehun had met few people who had joined him in that faction. He knew that few people would enlist, but he was surprised to see that, besides himself, only four more people joined the organization. However, he realized that there was a friendship between Seungwan and Seulgi, the same as between Hoseok and Changkyun. He talked to them, after all, they were the younger ones inside that faction. They needed to have a good relationship both because they were new and because they had no experience outside the Walls.

Sometimes while he was at the table with the other four, he saw Minseok passing along with some other people, probably members of his squadron. Sehun did not know why, but he liked to watch him. He admired Minseok’s posture and found his serious expression extremely attractive. Especially when Minseok realized that Sehun was looking at him, and kept walking, but staring at the younger, as if trying to decipher him.

At other times, when he felt very out of place with the other four members, he ended up being alone, wandering around the corridors. Usually he saw some other members of the Army, greeting each one of them. Because of that, he came to know every part of the establishment's areas, discovering that there was a place that resembled a balcony, totally isolated and without movement, where he liked to stay to think after the meetings and trainings he had with Joohyun and the rest of the squad.

And that was why he went there after the team decided that on the next mission their group and Minseok's would be lined up in the vanguard, close to the right wing. They would go to the Forest of Giant Trees, which summed up to a set of trees of, on average, 80 meters in height.

But he had to think. He knew there was no turning back, but still he was afraid.

What he did not expect was that someone would be there when he passed the balcony door. He did not expect that this person would be Minseok and that Minseok would have his expressive eyes full of tears while holding a piece of paper.

He knew that the most correct thing would be to leave because, apart from being at a personal moment, Minseok was his superior. But Sehun could not help wanting to comfort him, whatever it was that was leaving him like that. And so he just came in, realizing that the older man had not yet noticed his presence there. He touched Minseok’s shoulder lightly, and he saw a totally different Minseok than the one he had seen before. This Minseok was frightened, trying in vain to wipe his cheeks and hide the paper he held.

“What are you doing here?” Minseok sais, trying in vain to regain his posture.

“Well...” Sehun began, not really sure what to say. “I usually come here after the meetings. To think, you know…”

Minseok had not replied, just made a move to leave. And Sehun held his pulse instinctively, which made the superior look at him in a repressive way, but still with wet eyes.

“I know you do not owe me explanations, but I could not help but see that you were crying.”

“I was not crying.” He blinked quickly, trying to stop more tears from falling.

Sehun, realizing that something was wrong, just pulled Minseok into a hug. He just wrapped his arms around Sehun's back, crying silently on his shoulder as he felt his long fingers stroking his hair. And so they stayed for several minutes, in a silence that was both comforting and uncomfortable.

Then, when Minseok broke free, his face was flushed, and Sehun could not tell whether it was shame or crying, but he thought it was the last. And then his eyes went to the eldest, who again made his way back.

“Minseok, if you do not mind, you can tell me what happened. I know you are my superior, but I will not judge you.”

Inhaling, again trying to get back to his former stance, Minseok looked at him.

“I lost my sister during the fall of Shiganshina. I did not wanted to believe it, so I asked them to do a investigation for me, but I never had a positive answer.” He looked at the paper that was still in his hands, almost crumpled. “This is the last letter she sent me before everything happened.”

“I understand.” He lowered his head, knowing it was a sad situation. "I hope you're alright."

So he made the gesture of greeting, his fist on his chest, being promptly answered by Minseok, who then left the place and went to his room.

—————X—————

The day had come when they would leave the protection of the Walls. They needed to find out more information about the Titans and, knowing that this mission would be long, they would also need to carry enough supplies for three days.

They went to the gates of Trost, where Sehun hoped to see Jongin. He was afraid it would be the last time he would see him, so he hoped he would meet him again for a little while. However, he knew it would be difficult to do, since Sehun was on his horse, in position, ready to leave the gates. But to his surprise, he had seen Jongin with some other members of the Garrison near the gates, and he smiled at the young man, signaling respect for himself, knowing the risks Sehun ran. It was as if, with that gesture, he wished luck.

And then the Commander had left, signaling to all the other members that they should follow him out of the Walls.

Sehun had been impressed by the beauty of the fields of the Maria Wall. He knew that a few Titans were likely to appear there, but he could not help but appreciate the scenery. However, the reason for being there was different, and soon he focused on his main purpose.

He rode alongside Hoseok and Seulgi, at an average distance of four and a half meters. Joohyun was ahead, in the middle, guiding his squadron. Sehun knew they were close to Minseok's squad, but still, it was not possible to see any of the members. As it was his first time outside the Protected Walls, he did not know if that was normal, but judging by his leader's indifference about it, he guessed it was right. And so, once again, he worried about his own group.

However, he didn’t do that for long.

They saw the black smoke of the flare gun taking over the sky. It indicated an Abnormal Titan. It came from a few miles to the left, and Joohyun shouted for them to go. It was Minseok’s group. So Joohyun sent Seulgi to warn the nearest squadron if they needed more soldiers, and then the rest of them rushed to the left.

By the time they were close, it was possible to see a Titan with more than ten meters away, running and crawling over his four limbs. Three bodies of soldiers could be seen on the ground, lifeless. It was the whole squadron of Minseok, left only Baekhyun, who tried in vain to cut off the members of the Titan. Sehun did not know so much about Abnormal Titans, but he could say that just killing and not eating was enough to qualify as abnormal. And in an almost instinctive gesture, his eyes searched for Minseok, almost despairing when he saw where he was.

He was close to the Titan's hip, with his ODM apparently broken and the two blades pinned to the skin of the aberration so he would not fall down. Automatically, Sehun decided to go there. The chance to get hurt was enormous, but he felt he needed to save Minseok. And he did.

On his horse, he approached close enough that the ODM hook would cling to the Titan. And then he approached the superior, seeing his look of despair at not knowing how to get out of there. But before Sehun spoke, Minseok quickly said that his gas was gone. As a result, Sehun held him to release the blades and dropthe gas cylinders. It was desperate, especially because they knew Joohyun and the rest of the members were trying so hard to immobilize the Titan without letting its body fall and crush them both.

“I got it.” Minseok had said, and Sehun soon got his only two reserves and handed him over, watching him fit into his ODM.

Before long, they had enough gas to at least get out. However, Minseok quickly hit the hook on the Titan's head and, with his blades, cut off the back of his head. Sehun had left the place almost immediately, pinning his equipment on a low tree that was there so he would not get hurt. The body of the giant collapsed, lifeless, which made Minseok move away and look at Sehun to see if he was okay, but soon broke the eye contact, going to Joohyun and reporting everything that had happened.

“We lost three men, including Junmyeon.” The other leader took notes, while the members guarded the perimeter so that no Titan approached. “Trying to save the members, I spent all my gas, and ended up getting stuck in the body of the Titan, and I couldn’t get out. The rest, everyone saw.”

As Joohyun was the leader that had the largest number of squad members, by the rules, she was the one who should take the lead. Consequently, Minseok and Baekhyun would become part of her group up to higher orders. Then she gave the order that they continued to the Forest, which had been foreseen since the beginning of the mission. On their horses, they set up the strategy position and went back on their way.

Baekhyun, needing no higher order, picked up a flare gun and fired the green color, which showed that the order of formation had changed in that area.

They had no more problems with Titans on that side. However, on the left side, they could see some red signals, indicating the presence of Titans. However, since the purpose of that training was to avoid contact, except in cases of Anomalous, they knew that the formation there would remain the same.

After another half hour of riding, it was already possible to see the trees. They saw some members of other groups in nearby places. Also, the area that would be inside the Forest was already defined, and Joohyun’s group would be in a more internal area, near the right extremity. Then they stopped.

“I need to talk to the Commander.” Joohyun announced, standing on her horse, getting ready to use her ODM. “Minseok, you know what to do.”

And then she disappeared through the trees.

—————X—————

It was already night. Minseok had led the whole squadron to the part of the trees where they should stay. They all remained silent, watching the perimeter and looking for any sign of an Abnormal Titan, since the commons only had activity during the daytime part. However, Minseok dismissed them after hours without signal. And they slept.

Sehun had awakened a few minutes later, looking around and searching for any movement that might have been responsible for his awakening. But he had not seen anything atypical, but still he kept looking around for something different.

He found Minseok alone, sitting on a tree and looking out at the horizon, where the moon was at the top of the clear sky, illuminating part of the fields in which they rode just a while ago. He went there. He knew full well he was being insistent, but he liked being around Minseok. He did not know why, but he did.

He attached his hook on a part of the tree where Minseok was and then sat with him.

“You should be sleeping, Sehun.” Minseok began, looking at him for a moment and then looking back.

“You too.” His voice made Minseok’s eyebrows raise, followed by a brief laugh.

They were in a comfortable silence for a while. Sehun had begun to observe the landscape where he had once been with the squadron. From the top of the trees, it was possible to see a good part of the fields, and, far away, part of the Trost Wall. But then he focused his gaze on Minseok, watching his features. At the moment, he did not have his features drawn in a serious expression. His face was calm and soft. It was quiet.

“Thank you for saving me earlier.” Minseok said without looking away. “And for talking to me the other day.”

“Oh, it was nothing.” Sehun smiled at him.

“I think you are the only one in the Army who ever saw me cry.” He said quietly. “I still do not know how to react to that, but I'm grateful that you did not judged me.”

“It's not something I would do. Everyone has their own demons. I, for example, was reneged on by my family when I entered the Survey Corps.”

“Did they want you to go into the Garrison?” Minseok looked at him.

“Military police.” He answered simplistically. “I was in eighth place, so I could get there.”

“And why you did not?”

“Because I saw how much they are _nasty_. I would never forgive myself if I had become one of them.”

Minseok had let out a low laugh out of his mouth.

“I like the way you think. You are one of the few who are among the top ten and do not enter the Military Police.”

“I realized that most people do not even care that they are extremely corrupt and comfortable. This is not for me.” He sighed. “And you? Why did you come to the Survey Corps?”

The older man looked sideways, as if to make sure no one was awake and listening to the conversation.

“When I was a child and I lived in Shiganshina, I heard three children talking about the existence of an ocean outside the Walls.” Sehun looked confused. "According to them, it was a lot of salt water. I found it strange at first, but it may be true, do not you think?”

Sehun had seen a certain light in Minseok's eyes, and he had realized that this was his goal in the Troop of Survey Corps. He thought he was there just to kill Titans, but in fact, he just wanted to see the exterior of the Wall. And killing Titans was just the way he found it to achieve his goal.

“I find it hard to believe. Not impossible, though.” He continued the conversation. “If this was true, I think the Government would have invested more in the Survey Corps then, counting to eliminate the Titans. I mean, salt is a very expensive product, and if it was true they would do anything to achieve it.”

“You're right.” Minseok started to think again. "But I think there's something wrong with our Government. I feel they hide something.”

When Minseok would continue talking, they heard a noise coming from the base of the trees. It was a Titan, trying to climb the tree at all costs. As it was night, the flare gun would not work. They would have to kill him alone and report what happened next.

They both went down to the lower branches, preparing to attack the nape of the Titan. However, he distanced himself from the tree he was in before and quickly followed the branch where Sehun was. Minseok, in an attempt to save him, eventually plunged and twisted one leg, trying out a strategy that he knew to be flawed and risky. He failed to cut the back of her neck, but succeeded in immobilizing one of his ankles, tearing part of the meat off the spot. So the giant fell to his knees.

Sehun, seeing that he was the only one who could kill the Titan, did it as fast as he could, but without foreseeing the consequences. He did not prepare his strategy, having nowhere to pin down his ODM after stripping the skin of the Titan, and then fell to the ground, banging his head and rolling down the grass. Unconscious.

—————X—————

When Sehun woke up, he realized he was in a wagon. It was getting dark. He did not remember very well what had happened, but when he opened his eyes he saw Minseok sitting by his side, with part of his leg bandaged.

“You hit your head and rolled on the floor when you fell, and broke part of the bones of your foot and ankle.” He said even before Sehun asked. “And I twisted my leg.”

“How's the report?” Sehun changed the subject, realizing that it would not do any progress to keep talking about their flaws.

“I passed all the information to Joohyun. We're going to discuss my squad situation when we get to base.”

Sehun sat down slowly, looking at his foot, then at his sides. He saw that in other carts there were more members injured.

“How many Titans appeared at night?” Sehun asked.

“I believe five. One in each part closer to the edge of the Forest.” He looked down at his own leg, running his fingers down the bandage. “I need to see all the reports and confirm that.”

Then Sehun lay down again because he knew there was nothing he could do in the situation he was in. And in a few hours, they would be back at the base.

—————X—————

The day after they arrived, there was a meeting between everyone at that base. Jiyong, who was the Lieutenant responsible for that unit, had mainly decided with Minseok and Joohyun on the reorganization of their squadrons. Without even making room for discussion, he placed Hoseok, Seungwan and Sehun in Minseok’s squad, reorganizing Joohyun's with veteran soldiers. The Lieutenant hoped that this new organization would not be undone so soon.

And a month later, in another meeting, Sehun was almost suspended from his activities.

It had been decided that in two days they would leave again for Shiganshina. Minseok would have his squad practically on the front line, and at that moment Sehun protested. He did not even know why, but he did not agree with that. He could not let Minseok go straight to his death. He simply could not.

"I do not think Minseok should be at the forefront." He said. “He got hurt on the last expedition, so I do not think it's coherent to put him right up front.”

“What do you suggest then, rookie?” Jiyong replied with another question, which Sehun had not answered. “If you have no better idea, the most certain thing to do is keep quiet. You are not even scheduled for this expedition, Minseok did not authorize it because he said you are not yet recovered.”

“And who said he is?” His voice grew louder, making Minseok look at him in a reprehensible way, as if he were telling him to shut up.

“I think you're forgetting your place in here.” Jiyong looked at him threateningly, and soon Sehun fell silent, more out of consideration for Minseok than anything else.

He spent the rest of the night and the next day thinking about what would happen and what he could do. But Jiyong was right, he had no power in that place. He was just another soldier.

And after much thought, he decided that the most certain thing was to apologize to Minseok. He knew he should not interfere with any decision of his superiors, much less cause such intrigue. But he also knew the real reason for doing so. He did not admit it, but he knew very well what had happened in that meeting room.

Late in the evening, when many were asleep, he walked through the well-known corridors until he reached Minseok's room. There, he knocked on the door, hoping there would be no one but the squad leader there.

He received a positive response and came in, seeing Minseok standing, leaning against his desk and looking out at the sky. It was different from what Sehun was accustomed to seeing. His dark hair was partly thrown aside and he wore too many social outfits. It was not unusual for him to see Minseok in black pants and a red button shirt.

But he also looked different. His mood was different. His expressions were different.

“What are you doing here?” Minseok asked, looking slightly down. “Do you want to be suspended from the squadron?”

“I wanted to apologize.” He closed the door and approached. “I should not have done that, but I ... I was worried. I still am.”

“What are you worried about, Sehun?” He looked at him, folding his arms. “I know how to take care of myself, I did it very well before you even showed up.”

“I know, it's just that...” He leaned against the table beside Minseok. “After you told me about the ‘ocean’, I felt that your purpose is so simple, but so hopeful. It is worthwhile even though it is modest. And I do not think it would be right that you could not do it for the Lieutenant's bullshit.”

Minseok looked at him deeply. He did not know what to say. Sehun could tell clearly that he was surprised, but nothing came out of his mouth. He just returned to his previous position, facing the sky again. Sehun thought he should leave, but something still kept him there.

“You're the only one who knows that.” Minseok began to speak. “The only one alive, at least. I do not even know why I told you this, but something told me I could trust you.”

Sehun saw Minseok move away and walk to the window. Instinctively, Sehun approached him. He seriously thought whether or not he should do what he had in mind.

“Minseok...” He called, making the older man turn to him. “I want to do something before you go.”

Without letting Minseok respond, Sehun slowly held his face and touched his lips, knowing that Minseok would be greatly surprised by that. But it was a kiss that did not last, because soon Sehun walked away.

“I do not know how you will react to this, but I could not live with a doubt of mine.” He removed his hands from Minseok’s face. “Good luck tomorrow.”

But as he started walking towards the door, he felt the leader grasp his wrist.

“Sehun...” He looked down slightly. “Can you... kiss me again?”

If Sehun said that he was not surprised it would be a lie. But he just did as he was asked, putting his hands on Minseok's face again and pressing their lips together. But this time the older man caught his chin lightly as he responded, moving his lips calmly against Sehun's.

—————X—————

Sehun did not know how he ended up kneeling on the couch between Minseok's legs. He did not know where his clothes had gone. He did not know what time it was and if there was a chance of anyone entering that room. The only thing he knew was that Minseok was no longer that one he showed when he commanded the squad off the Walls.

This Minseok was very like the one he had seen crying once. He was calm, almost vulnerable and sensitive. That's why Sehun held his face, stroking with his thumb as he watched the soft features on Minseok’s face. His eyes closed and his mouth parted, leaving low, almost inaudible moans to show how good he felt.

And when they enjoyed the deepest and most amiable pleasure, Sehun kissed him once more, as he had done countless times that night. They continued their kisses until Minseok decided to get up, stirring in one of his cupboards and returning with a bottle of whiskey and two small glasses. Then he came back and sat on Sehun's legs, offering one of the glasses. He served them both while Sehun sat down, and then drank the content of his glass, taking all the liquid at once. And the younger instinctively drank his part.

He held Minseok's face in his hands again, taking his mouth again. But then, Sehun felt Minseok separate them and lay his head on one of his shoulders. Sehun placed one hand up to his hair and stroked it lightly, lying down and bringing the smaller one with him.

He felt Minseok's breath softly on his neck, along the short fingers that moved slowly over his chest. In response, he kept stroking his hair, holding his other hand.

“I'm scared, Sehun.” He hugged Sehun.

“What are you afraid of, Minseok?” He asked, wrapping his arms around the other man.

“I'm always afraid before I leave the Walls, and knowing that tomorrow we're going to Shiganshina makes me even worse.” He whispered sadly. “I was there when it happened, and I saw how scary it was when they invaded the Walls. Because I never know if I'm going to come back alive, and now I worry because you're the only one who really understands me... In every way... And I... I worry about you too.”

Sehun never imagined that Minseok would like someone to talk to. But he knew it was probably due to his rank as a squad leader, which, even though he was not among the highest, was still an extremely dense and complicated job. He knew that he had to be rational and composed most of the time, but after all they had talked about, he knew he needed a confidant, a safety valve. And Sehun would be his safe place.

“It's all right, Minseok.” Sehun brought his face close. “It'll be all right, and when you come back, I'll be here.”

“I hope so, Sehun.” He smiled, but it was a sad smile. “I really hope so.”

—————X—————

It had been two days since the Scouts had left Trost. It was planned to return near sunset, and Sehun could hardly wait to see Minseok again. In the quarters where he had been left in the District, there was absolutely nothing he could do, and that frustrated him.

But he had heard a crowd outside, which indicated that they had returned, and then went outside. And, as he saw the soldiers passing on their horses and carts, he began to worry.

He could not find Minseok.

He did not want to rush, but his heart throbbed at the thought of him not coming back.

Jiyong had announced that they would not go to the base but to the barracks where Sehun was. They needed to gather the members. And when they did, Sehun heard that they had lost half the initial members, including three squad leaders and two Captains. Before even asking about Minseok, Jiyong replied that he was missing but probably dead.

He just did not want to believe it. Even knowing it was true because his body was nowhere to be seen. He resolved that he would later ask Joohyun. And he did it when they all dispersed.

“Joohyun.” He nodded respectfully at her. “If I may ask, do you know what happened to the Minseok squad?”

“They were all dead. We do not know for sure, but we saw the black sign, then a purple sign indicating an emergency, but when we arrived, we found Seungwan, Hoseok and Baekhyun dead.” She looked down. “And it's like Jiyong said, we have no sign of Minseok. I'm sorry, but I need to go talk to Seulgi. She is desolate.”

“It's all right. Thank you very much.” He thanked and again made his greeting. “And I hope she is well.”

—————X—————

Unlike the previous mission, the time interval between that and the next one was only one week. Apparently, they had found something worth risking in Shiganshina, but Sehun didn’t have a reason why. He could not accept that he could see the ocean instead of Minseok, and knowing that depressed him.

Now they rode again, but towards Shiganshina. There was no Titan around. But a little further on, he and his squadron saw a small forest. The trees were not as tall as the Forest they once were, but they were still rather tall. There had been no sign, so their new leader had indicated that they should go ahead and not turn around, after all, they would lose time. So they followed his order.

They rode through the trees quickly because coincidentally there was a grime road in the place. Sehun looked around slowly, intent on the appearance of some Abnormal Titan. But then he saw a light reflect and reach his eyes. He did not mind telling the leader, he just turned around and went to the place. And he was surprised at what he saw.

It was Minseok. Still using the ODM, but lying on the floor, not breathing. He got off his horse in a hurry, putting his hands on Minseok’s face and feeling how cold it was. Sehun did not even notice, but his own face was wet with tears, and he did not even hear the horses approaching where he was. The only thing he could think of was that the signs of Minseok's body indicated that he had died of dehydration, and not long ago.

If they had left the day before, Minseok might still be alive.

He had not noticed that one of the leaders had dropped the purple flag. And in a little more than half an hour, a wagon appeared, coming from the South. It contained four other bodies, and the order they had was to return to Trost and then to the base where the bodies would be buried. So they just wrapped Minseok in one of the cloths and put it in the wagon, following to return from where they came. Sehun asked for permission to accompany them, and the leader reluctantly accepted. And Sehun rode with them, going back to the base.

And after hours, they reached the base of the Survey Corps, where they would bury all those they brought back.

Where Sehun buried Minseok's body.

—————X—————

Sehun spent more than a month dreaming about Minseok. Good dreams, bad dreams, meaningless dreams, dreams in which he blamed himself for not having come before him. And when he woke up in the middle of the night in his room, he called his name in low whispers, wishing he would come back.

He thought about giving it all up. From research on the Titans, from the Survey Corps... Even from his life...

He visited Minseok’s grave every day, and knew that this brought suspicions of some members of the faction, but now it no longer mattered. He just missed Minseok. Sehun knew that from the beginning that he himself did not have an objective and had entered the Scouts as the most "viable" option, but when he saw Minseok's motives, he felt that he should accompany him. But it would not be possible anymore.

He thought about it every day. Sometimes he avoided sleeping so he had no dreams in which he saw Minseok's small smile in front of him while both of them were staring at the _“ocean”._ Because he knew Minseok still had so much to live, and he deserved to see the ocean.

But Sehun decided he would continue. He would continue to live, continue in the Survey Corps and try his best to find the ocean.

He would do all this for him.

For Minseok.

**Author's Note:**

> Playlist: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M2LdF1RlSL0&index=2&t=0s&list=PLFV3bHFMs3-joLv04X4zCJF2VrJHLGPW3  
> The position that Minseok and Sehun stayed in the formation is blue (2/4 and 2/5, respectively):  
> https://pm1.narvii.com/6336/f507d697e0a15c52c7be884b53399b888d0e86f2_hq.jpg  
> And the map that shows the locations that appear in One Shot:  
> https://twitter.com/bluevelvett28/status/1015950420848644096


End file.
